Today, I am making my monthly (or so) pilgrimage to the great state of New York in order to play board games for the equivalency of a work day. I am going alone. That makes it sound like I’m playing games by myself….I WIN!! No, I am meeting friends. l do this on a regular basis (see above) so that I can spend some time not having to think about my duties as a father and husband. Last night, my wife went out dancing with her friends. Later this month, we will go out together, a “date” as the cool kids call it. But I’m not focusing on date night, I’m focusing on alone time.
I love the time I have with my kids. I love, love, love the time I have with my wife. She is the constant in my life that I can rely on for being 100% authentically “there”. That being said, when I spend a large chunk of my time taking care of children, I need some time to reboot. If we are all so immersed in our children that we lose our identity, then who are we when they leave?
I see a lot of my friends from high school are having kids. The internet has given me stalking powers I would have have never realized had it not be for the time we live in. The largest piece of advice I can give is, “Don’t lose yourself.” Do something that recharges you and really allows you to “turn off” the daddy part for a little while. This is so important! If you don’t, you start losing your identity as a person. Also, if you don’t have some time to be alone or doing something not kid related, you can start to get really burnt out on the monotony of every day life. And men, don’t be misogynistic about your wife wanting to be alone. She doesn’t want to cheat on you (unless your a shitty husband, in that case you probably deserve it yah prick), she just wants what every single human being wants sometimes, she wants to recharge. She wants some time to be herself.
So spend some time with yourself…HA!….enjoy the time away from your kids and your partner so you can come back feeling refreshed. Don’t lose your identity.
Now, off to build fake cities, chuck dice and eat tacos!